Compendium of The In-crowd (a story of modern teens)

February 19, 2013 § Leave a comment

Author’s note: mature content.



I hereby declare, on My Nobility, that the following, hereafter, are the customs, therefore, being the rules of culture, regarding The New In-crowd. These are laws & experiments from Ancient Ages to the Current.

The first tenet is: Know Thyself.


Ander stopped writing.

He was stuck in a moment’s worth of contemplation inspired by those last two words.

Know Thyself.

He knew that his classmates would read this report, as well as the faculty. The teenagers in his Junior class, he felt, would not understand his intention, nor would the rest of the school.

This was his sounding board, though – being the Free Speech columnist for Mansa Musa High School’s weekly blog. He was only, and actually, reinventing-the-wheel. But not the common man’s way of defining reinvent.

Invent is a word that was usually understood; “re-, however, has lost its true function.” Ander said out loud.

Being a self-declared Etymologist, Ander loved the study of a word. His Father taught him the importance of knowing the variety of definitions in all words, in every syllable, and its relevance and meaning throughout history. Definitions evolved over time, and new words were added to our conversations, daily, along with our accredited dictionaries.

Ander perseverated on the prefix re-; Once more; afresh; anew; with return to a previous state; mutually; behind or after. 

“I’d love to be able to dump a bunch of useful information into the minds of My peers, without speaking or writing. By merely thinking a thing, and it would waft and wane in the psyches of everyone. That’s true power.” Ander said while bending down to stroke the muzzle of his beloved 3-year-old Dogue de Bordeaux.

“Isn’t that right, Osiris?”

The Bordeaux tilted his head to the left then licked his master’s nose. Ander returned his attention to his computer.

Know Thyself.

This term, Ander continued writing, is to be thoroughly understood as the Absolute Culmination of a Person’s Existence. 

To Know Thyself is the superpower, innate in all Humans, to be, to do, and to have, whatever thine Nature desires for its mirth and perpetuity. All subsequent laws are based and derived from the root of this Aleph Command. 

“Aleph is really gonna jack everyone’s brain off.” Ander said to Osiris.

He closed his MacBook Air, deciding that that was enough for tonight – the article wasn’t due until next Friday.

Ander had chosen, when asked to write this column, that it’d be bi-weekly, giving him ample time to allow his subconscious to penetrate his conscious mind with inspiration.

He didn’t struggle with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity regarding himself nor his writing. He was certain that all who read his section of the blog would be taught and directed wisely. The people loved what he wrote.

Confidence came naturally to Ander. He was handsome, of medium height, broad-shouldered, robust, burly, and portly for his young age, which didn’t deter girls, and he wore his hair scruffy – he was going for a nice head of thin dreadlocks.

He was secure in his Nature; for he understood, accepted, and loved what he was, how he thought, and how he looked.

This certainty within afforded him the grace to be liked by every clique in the school. He had his go-to peeps, his inner-circle, but he enjoyed muddling with all the groupings.

Everyone had their own particular brand of coolness, and everyone had the exact same insecurities that everyone else had. So, knowing this, he thought, there was no logical and emotional reason to not like Myself – if we all fought the same wars with appearances, sex, belonging, attention-getting, and success, then all I need to do is be content with everything that I am to attain all that I want; the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. Everything.

Ander grabbed his special-edition, (Product) Red, 256gb iPhone 7…plenty of texts and emails for a popularly self-made teenage intellectual.

He scrolled through the bullshit to find a text from his girlfriend.

Edelweiss – named after the flower, not the song from The Sound of Music, and of Ghanian/Choctaw descent; her Great Grandfather was an immigrant during the 1930’s, her Great Grandmother, a jazz singer at The Cotton Club.

She was the blog’s editor, a Senior, and the girl everyone deemed the most likely to be the hottest POTUS, ever. She had a fancy for presidential history of the U.S., as was evident by the fact that she renamed the school’s blog, The Obamater.

The cello was her favorite instrument, though she didn’t play.

Edelweiss was the one who recruited Ander to write the Free Speech column.  She wanted, as she stated to him in the final interview, “…an across-the-board, popular, erudite Junior who could maneuver through the trenches of all the social sects; one who was respected, and adhered to.. ”

He smiled, recapitulating that particular interview. “She so won Me.” He thought, his mind returning to the present moment while rereading her text:

Edelweiss: All I can think about is fucking you.

Another thing Ander dug about Edelweiss was her bluntness. Flirting is obsolete. The girl of today was direct about what she wanted…topic for the next article, Ander thought.

Ander: Funny, ’cause I can think about a bunch of things OTHER than that right now.  

Downplay her sexual advances…keeps it exciting. And somewhat flirtatious.  Damnit, flirting’s not dead, yet, thought Ander.

Edelweiss: What’s wrong?

Ander: Just a smidgeon of brainfog. It’ll pass.

E: Sounds like a distraction is in order. 

A: What’d ya have in mind?

E: Um, what I suggested earlier, fucktard.

A: Now, now…

E: Seriously, cum over.

Ah, the challenge. Give in, or keep playin’ hard-to-get.

Ander loved the rapport he had with this woman – their sexual banter was playful, fun, with a dollop of elegance. He liked that. He knew she did, too. They didn’t try at it. They just did it.

Something else that came naturally to Ander – sex appeal; another consequence of confidence. If you said what was on your mind, no matter how absurd, and you delivered it with assurity in yourself, all would be well and everything would work in your favor. Completely.

A: Sigh…

E: You won’t be sighing once your dick is in My mouth. 

A: Jesus.  

E: Come worship My clit then.😏

A: Goddamn, girl!😱

E: Y’know you like it when I talk dirty…and blasphemous.

A: 😂 You mean “write” dirty & blasphemous.

E: You’re a butt-fucking nerd, you know that?

A: As are you.

E: Totally. Now get over here before I’m not horny any longer. 

A: Are your parents there?

E: Yes, but you know they don’t mind. Please don’t make this an issue again. 

A:*sigh* I try not to, but it’s just…strange. It’s difficult for Me to wrap My head around how trusting your folks are. It’s rare.

E: Word – but that’s how they raised Me. I’m intelligent, responsible, honest almost to an error; I tell Them everything about how I think, feel, what I do, minus the juicy deets about My sexual exploits, so they’ve come to let Me be free to do whatever, as long as I understand & accept all the consequences of My actions. They trust Me and I trust Myself.

A: Which is why they recommended you get on birth-control?

E: Yes. And have every potential partner screened and checked before commencing. Plus My Dad told Me all the drama regarding condoms. It seems so unnecessary if one is STD free, the girl’s birth-controlled, and choice about who they have sex with. Quality over quantity, oui?

Ander loved it when Edelweiss used French in their conversations.

A: Man, that just blows My mind. You’re, like, the girl that every dude wants. Ladies, too.

E: Which is why I remain discriminative about who I give Myself to. I’m not a fucking fuck hole (well, except for you and a couple of others). I‘m grateful that I get to be intimate with people I truly love. Which is a small circle. It’s absolutely natural and normal. 

A: Word.

E: Plus, My mother taught Me about the energetic circulation between lovers, how women tend to absorb nefarious biochemical fluids and malevolent radiations from males. And how that lingers and effects the woman for years after. Ew. No, thanks. So, again, I’m choice…..that reminds Me, have you read the excerpt I sent you?🧐

A few minutes passed after Ander’s last text before Edelweiss responded.

E: You’re stalling, Ander. Truthfully, tell Me what’s up. I don’t know of any boy or girl who’d pass on an offer like this.

A: Now who’s the slut? #ohsnap

E: Stop hashtagging. And I’m flirting, asshole. And trying to entice you to come over on a Friday night, knowing that you’re not doin’ shit but writing for the blog, and I’m hawt, and You love Me, and I love You..

A: ..over-usage of “and”, baby.

E: ..archaic misplace of the comma outside of the end-quotation,“baby.”

Ander paused to reflect on his response. I’m absolutely & overwhelmingly smitten by this woman, he thought.

A: ..on My way. You won Me with “archaic misplace of the comma outside of the end-quotation.”

E: Lol. Such a fucking nerd.😍

A: Always.😘

~ written by Hiram Surtyr ~

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